Upon mastering all experiments on type, form, flow, technique, nuance, theme, and language, a poet becomes none other than a tamer of words, and his poem but a mere collection of domestic beasts–providing circus attractions where instructed by the poet’s Will.
But a true craft is born neither by domination nor by apprehension; It is never defined by limitation. Rather, it assumes its ideal form in a spontaneous reaction against its own lack of majestic definition.
Thus, a poet best performs only in the wilderness, where beasts bare their vicious fangs and threatens with murderous claws. Only in the deadly unknown shall a masterpiece be crafted–where Will, helpless without command, can only strive to persist its existence and gasp desperately for the morrow.
If there is a single aspect from myself worth bragging, well . . . apart from being repeatedly mistaken as gay (how do I manage to get a girlfriend again?), it would be my English proficiency, which ironically is far better than my command over the Indonesian language (No, I’m dead serious; I suck hard when it comes to writing in Indonesian—every piece I’ve ever attempted so far are like excerpts torn from parking tickets).
With such proficiency, my day-to-day task often revolves around writing, translating or reviewing documents for grammatical errors, in which I recently realized that I’ve become my own worst editor.
This blog serves a good example. I find myself coming back again and again to a content for revision even when it is already published (don’t be surprised if a sentence you’re reading on this blog suddenly deletes itself). Sometimes my times spent on revision exceeds the time spent actually writing something.
And because of that a question came to my mind: “can you ever be too critical of your own performance?”
By working, I really mean thisNow, while spotting your own mistake before anyone else can prevent a future disaster, it is important to know what to improve before going straight for a revision that can potentially ruin what’s already well established.
But how to be sure whether an aspect of our work is already well established? After all, it is very difficult to be objective of our own work.
As an example, I may think that sophisticated words nourish my content with elements that may better appeal to those with delicately mature taste; so does elaborated albeit long winding explanation, that comes, in not one, but so very many, numerous, frikkin, commas. My readers on the other hand might find them repulsive, distracting, discouraging to even follow through.
This bias, this preconception of our own product makes it impossible for objective assessment on our part. And at times when it does seem possible, it often leads to an over-correction that only replaces a problem with a completely different one instead of solving it.
Also, even though we can always take our time off the pen and let the thoughts sip for a moment, that won’t completely disregard our bias. After all, this bias is also the center of excellence that conducts the production–we shouldn’t resent it entirely.
The only option left for improvement then is to put aside our ego and let the assessment be performed by a third-party.
But third-party evaluation generally sucks, and more than often it feels like “How can this mediocre mind even comprehend my genius? He should be honored to even get the chance to read this masterpiece. Oh look, he is not even laughing at the line where I put my amazingly crafted joke—THAT VERY AWESOME JOKE!! HOW DARE HE *&(%%$^&$#$@#^&*(??!!”
However, no matter how annoying it may feel, the cold hard truth is that it is our best bet. It is okay not to take the advice on what to buy as a hobby—duck plushies or RC cars, how to properly take a shower—sing or no sing, or what to read during pooping time—shampoo bottle or The Economist. But when it comes to producing something for others’ consumption (be it writing, crafting, anything), feedback is a crucial element of consideration.
What? You still need us to tell you that this sucks??Now to reconsider the question “can you ever be too critical of your own performance?” The answer depends. But in the end, after putting our best effort at the producing, improvement means leaving the evaluation to anyone else but ourselves. Peers sometimes notice flaws better than you—customers, often.
At least the HR department hasn’t filed any complaint on me being a bad boyfriend
It is December already. It’s been raining a lot recently where I live, and the window these days presents view-after-view of drizzles, droplets, occasional lightning flashes, and folks running right and left for cover.
In all the times I spend by the window typing articles, working on translation projects, and browsing for porn or scrolling down 9gag writing my thesis, I find it odd how the view from the window seems to transmit varying mood. I swear the view was depressing yesterday—somber, sad, and kinda made me want to cuddle with my duck plushies collection all day.
Not that I possess such sort of collection obviously, that’s just a . . . err . . Metaphor.
Haha . . . ha . . . They are Selvi’s . . . Obviously . . . Right? No, that’s not my room. Shut up!
Yet today, upon gazing at the same thunderous glooms of the graying image through the glass, I am feeling this emanating upheaval of spirit—the sort normally accompanying the storm of inspiration which initiates my writing.
What a phenomenon–a festive mood of cheer today, a haunting restlessness tomorrow. While this alternating impression seems nothing less than a magic (remember the time you look through the window and feel like you are in a video clip of a gloomy song? Magic), it is a mere illusion—the view may stay static, but to the spectating end the only thing constant is change.
And within this delicate process of change, underneath the ever-morphing flux, we apply selective criteria to capture only details of the view that associate best with our emotions. It doesn’t matter if grey dominates, a single spot of white would be the only thing noticeable during times when joy thrives.
For anyone wondering, we supply our own photo and image. This one is taken by Selvi.
And just like the projection of our image mirrored by the glass (if not, it obviously needs a scrub), our window doesn’t only reveal the outside. If the presented picture seems so distant and cold, we may have dwelt too long in solitude. If the gust outside appears so vicious and cruel, we may have relied too much on suspicion and distrust. And if each moment of the window-theatrics is a fleeting race we can barely capture, we may have forsaken much for the sake of routine to even appreciate.
At the end of the day, through every view, we are only getting lost deep in our own thoughts. And it’s not really independent of control. We have all the options to be positive and sweet when we sit together with our lover looking at the rain from inside the cafeteria window or being creatively engaged by the sound of droplets while typing down that document for a client. We choose the mind we live and work with, regardless of the weather, regardless of the environment. Optimism is always beyond being predetermined.
Then again, if you only enjoy staring into hard platform of wooden or concrete surface, you are totally missing out on the chance to be a hopeless romantic.
Okay, let’s be honest, this is the first time I’ve ever used the word “Entrepreneurship” or even “entrepreneur” for that matter. I think this is among the most overused words in the pages of social media. That being said, my using of the word has its own risk of falling into the crater of pretentiouship (is there even such word?) But by all means, let me justify myself.
While business can come in concrete forms–restaurant, cafe, game center, shop, you name it; the advent of social media has enriched the possibility of the forms business can embody theseadays. Now, I am not a person who is successful in establishing business of such forms. I am more the kind who dearly wishes I can work freely in space and time of my choosing–a true freelancer at heart.
Speaking of freelancer, it is perhaps the only title anyone can bring up without giving out any clear notion of what economic tools or means of productions are at their disposals–or putting it simply, folks who call themselves freelancers rarely seem to have any job at all.
You see, there are two types of Freelancers in general. The first type are those who answer to endless waves of jobs (not to say “overwhelm themselves with jobs”); the second type meanwhile are those who have been the first type for a loooooong time before screaming “enough!!! I want to have a life! I need a date! I want to be fit! OMG, I need to get my hair cut!!”
The crucial difference between the two lies in the realization of how crucial the allocation of time is. I believe that time spent not doing anything is a waste of time. That does not mean that all have to be allocated for work, though. I proceed with a belief that it is this balance between personal life and professional life that truly defines a person. All work and no play makes Jeremy a dull boy. All play and no work on the other hand makes Jeremy a homeless.
“But Jeremy, what does this have to do with entrepreneurship? You pretentious hipster!”
Well, you see, to delve in the optimal point between work and life is no easy task. It is a comfort zone that takes hard work to arrive at. And this hard work is parallel with a manufacturing process that takes your SELF as the raw material to produce a much improved version of yourself–let us call it Jeremy 2.0 Beta (put your name over here, Jeremy, Santos, Grace, Sasha grey, whatever).
This manufacturing process requires you to be an architect of your own means of production, which are time and space above all else. Freelancer perhaps is the one with the most versatility and room to experiment with them. To work in the space and time of your choosing is indeed a luxury, but to comfort and make you feel like a king of your own trade is not the sole purpose here, the most important thing about it is its impact on your product.
Whoever you are: content-writer, proofreader, designer, or translator like me, allowing yourself to work in time and space of your choosing is conditioning your mind to work with the best setup. By contrast, Imagine working in a crowded space with an empty stomach or with sleepy eyes at 12am at night chased by deadline. Having a luxury to choose space and time of work can translate directly to the improvement of the quality of your products as freelancer.
But the scheduling of proper time and selection of space is not everything. We often forget that what makes a good career out of each of us is, well, our body. Take a good look at the mirror and ask: mirror . . mirror on the wall . . who is the fairest mofo of this land and ask yourself if you have been taking a good care of yourself lately.
You see, when I persuade people to go to the gym, their formal response is “I am soooo super busy right now” (read that in Ted Mosby’s voice). Those people work full-time and hope that they will make free time for their health somewhere down the road, which often is true in the end (mostly after their doctors diagnose them with illness rooted to excessive stress and lack of physical activity).
The thing is, nobody ever has enough time for everything, you make the time for it. And that is why becoming an architect of your own working space and schedule complements this physical factor so much more.
Now, you can add tertiary factors like lifestyle or recreation to the equation. But make sure you only add recreational activities that are important to you, that can support the productivity of your mind in one way or another. List them in questions like “Can I live without . . . ?” to identify which ones are important and which ones do not deserve that much priority. Here are some example:
-Can you live without seeing the new Star Wars movie? Neither can I!
-Can you work without getting annoyed by all your friends posts on instagram or memes on 9gag spoiling the Star Wars movie plot? Neither can I!
The bottom line of all this jabber-jabber is that taking into account every aspect of your own being that is related with productivity and making improvements and adjustments wherever possible will not only amplify the quality of your products (be it translation, editing, writing, etc); but will also keep you motivated, productive, happy, and fit for the long run. If building up to a product of self so optimized in those aspects cannot be classified as “entrepreneurship,” I honestly don’t know what can.
Of course for me, this all holds up until my mother tells me I need to get a real job I get to shift to a career with an outlined job description and preset schedule, which, to be honest, I doubt I will ever do.
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